Sometimes we go through motions that scare us, break us and occasionally, permanently scar us. We carry not only the pain of our past, but the lessons we hope to bring to our future. Our mind becomes a canvas of pain, wisdom and love. A painted picture so complex, our subconscious swallows it all never to reveal and never to expose ever again. We go about our daily lives with our minds in eternal oblivion. Yet, our subconscious never forgets. It carries our pain, fears, dreams and hopes. It molds itself into perfect form to accommodate to all the things we wish to burry, the things we wish would disappear into perfect nothingness. So it does, so it buries and so we live in eternal oblivion.
What we speak is our modified truth. What we think is our censored reality. What we hope is our dreams short of fantasy. There is no room for fantasy in reality, is there? Hence, we go about our days promising people that this is who we are. This is what we want. This is our truth. No one can fool us, if we fool ourselves first.
What if I tell you your truth is a lie? What if I refuse to settle to society’s ‘program of the day’? What if I tell you that they only truth that exists on this planet is within you. Your mind is there for a reason. Your subconscious remembers for a reason.
We live in a world where we are programmed to think that what society thinks of us is more important than who we actually are. We stand in lines of desperation trying to find a way to justify our individuality. We strive to ultimately be what we can be, according to our modified, censored and fantasy free reality. We say we want to be happy. We say we want the truth. Tell me, is this what you call happiness? Is this what you call the truth?
I refuse to be you. I refuse to give into your ‘reality.’ I refuse your logic. I refuse to be my own worst enemy. My choice of happiness may be different than yours, but I bet you my life’s worth I am closer to being happy than you are. That is why they call me crazy. That is why I am weird, because I choose not logic rather fantasy. I live every day loving the life I will have someday with all its fantasies and with all its fictions. My dreams are colored with useless illusions and unrealistic unrealities. I am not scared of being different. I am not scared of standing out. I am not scared of failure and I do not fear society, for I am society. I dictate who I am. I choose my own reality. Thus, I am my own society.
I will walk my path. I will walk my truth. I will embrace my pain. I will thank my misfortunes. I am who I am today because of my life’s misfortunes and to that I am forever grateful. To fantasies, whims and illusions, to hopes, dreams and utterly disgustingly imaginative fictions, I am forever yours and I am forever your truth.